Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The Magic of the Bidet

Imagine you are eating a chocolate cake on a plate. Naturally, some yummy chocolate would have dropped onto the plate. Once you have finished your yummy chocolate, its time to do the dishes. As we are all familiar with, we will rinse the plate (+detergent) under the sink. This gets rid of some of the chocolate, which we proceed to scrub away with a kitchen sponge.

Now... apply the process to wiping the butt after you shit. In a country without bidet, you may use the toilet paper to wipe the butt. If the paper is still dirty, repeat the process. This cycle will go on maybe 5~10 times, depending on how sticky your shit is.

BUT WITH BIDET... it is like rinsing the chocolate off the plate before you wipe (scrub) it. The water jet sprinkles your butt with 3~5 levels of intensity, and with the option to oscillate forwards and backwards to "hit the correct spot". So statistically, after rinsing off the chocolate, you may require 2~4 wipes for your butt, for the same level of stickiness of the chocolate.

(Although I might digress at this point to comment that some individuals might opt to skip the wiping process after rinsing of the chocolate.... I beg to differ and view the wiping process as a necessary routine.)

AND AMAZINGLY, the success is even more evident when your shit is even more sticky! In the event that you have ate something really bad and requires around 20+ wipes to clear... it takes <10 wipes now!!! This is absolutely fabulous because the butt is always so painful after 20+ wipes. And you feel weird if you don't wipe it 99.99% clean.

Oh... why am I writing this? Because I have just engaged in the services of The Bidet, and I am in a happy, songbird-lalala, dancing mood. And I am currently pondering on whether to purchase The Bidet to bring back to Singapore. Comments are welcome.

Coming Up Next:
How The Bidet Seat-Warming feature relaxes your butt and thigh muscles to make you shit better.

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